Discover Parenting

Here I Am, A Child Again...

2010-07-22T16:06:00.002+05:30

I love that innocent smile,

That curious look in the eyes…

I love that laughter on even the silliest of pranks,

That gusto and happiness on running simplest errands…

I love that carefree soul with no pretence,

That urgency to play and waving sorrow just as a distant acquaintance…

When I see him hidden behind the curtains, waiting for me to seek,

It brings back the child in me that I lost somewhere in the deep…

I have started believing again in the Alice’s wonderland and Snow white

My little bundle of joy has again shown me the light…

Light to live, forgive and light to let go of pain …

And here I am, a child again…

Cartoons: Harmelss Entertainment Or .... ?

2010-07-06T12:29:00.003+05:30

Whenever I am busy with something and my son gets unruly or don't have anything to do, I switch on the TV and let him watch cartoons. Cartoon channel is probably the only channel which I feel is fine for him to watch even without supervision. And the same view is shared by most of the moms around the world. Harmless entertainment as we may put it, right from our childhood to all the next generations, cartoons have been essential part of our growing up.

But if recent studies are to be believed, these have been the triggers of violence in kids. In my niece's school, a classmate bullied her and when questioned, he said, he saw it happening in his favorite cartoon series. And such incidents are happening all over. With an attempt to make cartoon stripes simulate real life, the creators have forgot that they have kids as their audience and their impressionable minds take everything without understanding the good and the bad of it.

It does not mean that the children should not watch cartoons. Everybody loves cartoons. I am a die hard fan of Tom and Jerry so why completely forbid them from watching. The key lies in being selective in what you should expose them to. For e.g. Exposing them to action figures too early in childhood is dangerous. There are certain cartoons like 'Mickey mouse clubhouse' that teach children in fun way and are very interesting to watch.

So let's just keep Turbo Man and Spider man in closet for a while and pull out Mickey and Friends for a generous dose of laughter. Once they are big enough to understand and you are ready to explain, even Spider Man adventures of taking to task the Evil can be super fun.
What do you say?

Missing Being Me...

2010-06-30T10:37:00.008+05:30

Being a SAHM has its own perks. Even if you wake up early, you can snooze whenever you want once the kids and hubby are off to their respective workplaces. You can laze around the whole day doing nothing and no one will ask you to justify it :). No hassle of filling time sheets or reporting to boss. No deadlines to meet and no rush hour traffic to beat. Wow, that almost rhymes.. :)You can watch your favorite movies and TV programs anytime without waiting for the weekends to come. And the most gratifying of all is NO MONDAY BLUES.

But all this time I play either a wife, a mommy or a homemaker but what about being 'me'? I am someone's honey, someone's mom and someone's didi (that's what my maid calls me) but beneath all this role playing is a part of me that yearns to be myself. The part that wants to do something with her life. At the moment, I am in a tussle with my own responsibilities and desires. I have to soon figure out how to balance and do what I want or else I will be lost in the sea of faces and will never be able to relate to real 'me'.

My hubby clicked this pic of mine for the subject 'Hope'. And hope is what I am holding onto and looking hard for the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you feel this too? Have you found your calling? Have you mastered the balancing act? Tell me how you are dealing with it... cause I don't want to miss being me.

First Day At School

2010-06-25T11:33:00.005+05:30

Monday was my son's first day at school and it was me who was all jittery and nervous wreck literally. Although he has attended playgroup but the environment of proper school is very different right from the campus to number of students and behavior of teachers. He had to leave at 8:40 AM. I woke up at 6:30 and made bed tea for me and my hubby. And all through the process, I was continuously looking at the clock, ticking its way to 7. One part of me was actually feeling like hanging with the hand of the clock and pulling it downwards so that the time could just freeze. As soon as the clock struck 7, I took over the daunting task of waking my son up. They look so innocent and beautiful when they sleep. That's why it seems so harsh to wake them up and that too so early (otherwise he wakes up at 8:30 or 9). Fortunately, he is not as fussy as I was as a child. So he just rambled in the bed for a while and then opened his tiny eyes and gave me the world's best smile. You can imagine how my heart would have melted then.

It was time to freshen up now. The benefit of having a supportive hubby is that you can transfer some of the responsibility to his shoulders even without thinking twice. And I take full advantage of that ;-). So I handed over the task of brushing, bathing to him and went to the kitchen. Within half an hour, kitchen was sorted; hubby's and my son's lunches were ready and so was the breakfast. May be it was the anxiety that somehow pushed the over-speed button. I went into the room, put on his uniform and shoes, made his hair ... but oh! A major part is still left.

I don't know about others, but my son takes about an hour just to finish his breakfast and you have to continuously pester him to do that. And there I was, running behind him, bribing him and performing all sorts of tactics so that he could finish his breakfast before the bus started honking the horn right below my building.
Since it was the first day, I didn't want to send him with the bus driver alone as this could make him really panicky. So I immediately got dressed and went to the main gate for the bus to pick us up. The driver was nice enough to agree to take me along and drop me back. So there I was, in my son's bus psychologically preparing him that he was going to school and mom would pick him up after a while. He was looking at me trying to make sense of what I was saying and by the way he was holding my hand, so tightly and firmly, I could tell that he had an inkling of the things to come.

As soon as the bus stopped, he had this little fearful expression in his eyes that I didn't want to see. But he had to do it. I want to be with him when he conquers his fears and takes the major steps of his life, for now it is just going to school. He was alright, not crying but the moment I left him at the door of his class and waved bye, he started sobbing looking into my eyes as if saying, "Mom don't leave me." The teacher stopped me from going inside and asked me to leave. And there I was standing at the gate putting up a brave face and shouting to my child, "Mom is here only.. I will be right here for you... Just play around.. Have fun.."

I waited patiently at the school gates for his classes to get over so that I could see him, see how he was taking it. I had all sorts of thoughts pouncing on me like "what if he is still crying? what if his teacher got angry because of his crying and scolded him or hitted him (it is quite common in India although the trends seem to be changing for better these days)". He came out and was all playful :) I was so happy and relieved to see him like that. For a while he ignored me, maybe he was angry with me for leaving him there. But he couldn't do it for longer :). We reached home and he was again leaping in my arms. He is getting better with every passing day. Now he feels very happy when I make him sit in his school bus. I just hope that he keeps on treading every path in his life easily, keeps on taking the challenges head on and keeps coming out as a a better person adorning happiness and success.

The Best Time To Have Kids

2010-06-15T13:01:00.009+05:30

Once a friend asked me intriguingly owing to my experience, "When is the best time to have kids?" And I said without even batting an eyelid, "NEVER". Yes, you heard it right, never. She was aghast. And with her eyes about to pop out of her sockets, very shocked and surprised, she asked me, "what? why?" Here goes my reason for it. They are always crying,throwing fits of tantrums and if not, continuously babbling and seeking your attention, they rob you of your independence,make you a pro at scolding and mind you, no sleep... no sleep at all. The moment you are about to watch your favorite TV program or listen to some good music, they are right into your ears whispering their demands. Your life is literally reduced to bare necessities. And we are never prepared for a life like this. All, well most of us plan the timing when we want to have kids but there are many times later on when we feel like pulling every single strand of hair on our head.

But have you ever noticed that their one smile can take away your every pain, their one giggle can make you content and their one silly imitation of a poem can make you laugh wholeheartedly for the entire day. Who else can do that? The moment your child comes and gives you this wet, slimy kiss and embraces you in a tight hug, all your worries, anger, frustration just vanish somewhere in the air.

The moment you have them, your life is full of unconditional love and warmth. Your life is so complete. Their smile, your sighs, your hard stares, their laughter, your anger, their innocence and a sense of pride seeing them turn into fine human beings is beyond imagination. Its right, there is no best time to have kids...its the moment you are ready to open your arms to such a beautiful and extremely overwhelming experience in life.

Hope And Happiness

2010-06-11T13:01:00.004+05:30

Life brings you surprises one after the other – some pleasant and some not so pleasant. When my son was born, it was the most beautiful gift I could ever think of but when it came to basics of motherhood (that includes feeding, cleaning), I was in for a huge surprise. I couldn’t imagine my life surrounding a little soul and I was doing nothing but spending my time taking care of him. The storyboard changed from the ambitions of a young working independent girl to a brooding mom changing diapers. I had the biggest identity crisis of my life until I took hold of the situation. The real strength of character lies in how you deal with what life dishes out to you. You cannot plan your life except waking up in the morning at 6:00, making breakfast and sending children to school … What if someday, your alarm chooses not to ring (for whatever reason)?

There are people who constantly blame situations, people around them for the bad happenings in their life (Believe me, I was also one of them at one point of life). If they feel so strongly about life being not fair to them, why don’t they do something about it? It is alright to be sad but life is not about gaining sympathy or finding comfort in tears. It is about laughing out loud with the most optimistic thoughts and having the fighting spirit despite all odds.

I have come across many people in life who inspired me but at the same time those too who bogged me down. The art lies in keeping the inspirations close (as I have by marrying him ;-))and pessimists a little away from you. Like everyone else, I want my son to grow as a happy person and for that I have to lead by example. Children are like sponges who absorb everything that comes their way. The first experience of course comes from the parents. So live your life with hope and happiness and pass on the same values to your little ones.

Coming Back To Where I Belong

2010-06-10T11:41:00.002+05:30

Exactly an year back, I wrote my last blog post. Don't know how but lost track of the time and also many friends that I made online. The last year has been rewarding in terms of experiences and allowed me to grow more mature as a parent and here I am back again with a promise to share my views. I am back to where I belong... to my own community of mom bloggers....
Cheers

Meddlesome parenting

2009-06-10T13:42:00.010+05:30

I came across this article yesterday about a mother being killed by her own daughter. Although the case of extreme reaction was an exception but this power struggle in relationships especially for mother daughter duo is very much a reality. Irrespective of culture and community, mothers love to control their children. The intensity may differ but this innate instinct does lie somewhere.

It is more vocal in a country like India because the women folk here are generally not considered equivalent to men and children are not supposed to move out on parents. It is the control and power that some mothers lurch for and end up victimizing their own children in the name of being 'protective'. Mothers monitor their every move and especially when it comes to daughters, the protective nature becomes intrusive. And even without realizing, a normal intriguing parent turns into a meddlesome authority.

A very close friend of mine went through a typical hypocritical phase in her life where she ended up losing her genetic family but found love in those who were never related to her in blood. It was when her mother decided to be her marriage breaker. For the reasons best known to her, mother tried to manipulate the circumstances that brought her and her fiance on the threshold of putting an end to their otherwise very strong and loving relationship. It was my friend's confidence in her fiance and his family that gave her the strength to break all ties and be with the ones who truly loved her. They accepted her despite all the ill treatment they received from her parents and continue to adore her just like a member of their own family. Till date, I am unable to understand what prompted her mother to do that and what did she got by paving the way for her own daughter's misery. Whether it was the desire to control her and her new family, or a hunger for power or money or just an ego issue? Whatever it was, she ended up losing her only daughter, giving her child the pain of lifetime and I can easily bet that she would still be blaming her daughter for the rift.

Indian mentality does not allow children to be treated as grownups even if they are well past their 20s or 30s. Mothers refuse to let go and believe that its right to be preachy about anything and everything. But little do the mothers realize that this tendency pushes teens and adults even far and they burst either by revolting or taking extreme steps like the one that hit the headlines. Parenting is not about possession, control and expectations. It is about giving and understanding the individuality of the little ones whom you have brought into this world but eventually they are going to grow up, make their own decisions and live their own life. Just a little more thought and sensitivity can make life and relationships lot more loving and easier.

Susan Boyle: How are we conditioning our kids?

2009-05-28T10:07:00.003+05:30

Few days back, I came across a news article about the recent British singing sensation Susan Boyle. A broody Scottish woman well past her mid 40's is participating in a show called "Britain's Got Talent". She was introduced as the woman with completely unpolished appearance and her admittance of never been kissed in life made things even worse. A laughing stock for the judges, participants and audience, this britain's got talent star left everyone dazed once she started to sing. Her vocal talent wooed the judges and audience alike.

When I read this story, I couldn't help but wonder the stereotypical mindsets and cynical attitudes we have indicating the obsession of the world with physical appearance. If someone is beautiful, fair and attractive, we presume that the person definitely has some talent even if it is just about average. And on the other side, we mock and don't appreciate people with bad appearances and dismiss them right away. Our judgemental skills are the result of years of conditioning of our minds that fair and attractive is good and ugly is always bad. Even our fairy tails glorify this assumption(remember snow white).

But this story also suggests one more fact that we love sad stories, rags to riches personas and enjoy the kick they give to our emotions. The success of emotional dramas on tv and movies on complete make overs move on to prove this fact. Susan Boyle's video was seen record number of times on Internet with no restriction of age, gender or geographical location. The truth is we talk about it, show symapthy and then move on and choose to do nothing.

Can we change the world? Are we giving our kids the same conditioning we had for years and decades or do we have the courage to break the stereotype? We can change the things, we can outrun the obsession but the point is do we want to? This is the irony of life.

Baby contest

2009-05-17T15:13:00.005+05:30

I haven't for a long time entered my son into any contest but when the offer came knocking at my door, I couldn't resist. It is a contest for the babies of our city. So here it is. I have entered my son for this contest and would like all of you to have a look and vote.

Checkout

Hope to see him emerge as a winner with all your support.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:10:00.006+05:30

Just a hug, just a smile
Just a ring across the miles
Unconditional gift of love, care
The warmth of compassion and ability to share
That's all what a mother needs...

Being a mother has taught me what nothing else in the world can... unconditional love. The day I held my son in my arms, tears rolled down my cheeks and i thought to myself,"how can anyone be so innocent, so sweet." It was love at first sight. The nights I spent feeding him showed me that even when I didn't receive a smile in return or even if he couldn't recognize me, how unselfish and giving love can be. Nothing can match the feeling of seeing your own extension moving freely in this world.

Motherhood is a celebration of life,love and all the byproducts that come with it,a little scolding, sometimes rejection but at the end a feeling of completeness.As they say, since God cannot be everywhere, He made mother. Mothers are special. We are strong enough to go through all the pain in the world to endure childbirth and still come out with a feeling of satisfaction and heart full of happiness. We have the courage to carry the weight of entire household on our frail shoulders and do so with a smile on our face. We have the will power to go on even when everyone else loses hope and serve the family in health and in sickness. We have the patience to listen to our children's anxieties and give them the right advice even when it means 'I don't
care' attitude from them. We have the power to love our children in times of happiness, grief, hurt, anger, frustration, success and failure.

Most of all, a mother is a gift from God and all those who have her are the most fortunate and the truly blessed. Ask them who are living their life without the love and support of their mothers and I am not talking about only orphans here.

To all my friends all around the world who are mothers and also those who are about to embrace this special gift of life, Happy Mother's Day. You are the one making a big difference in this material world with the inherent qualities of humanity and compassion.

Swine Flu

2009-05-04T14:52:00.003+05:30

With swine flu being declared the pandemic alert of level 5 by WHO, every nation needs to prepare for this waiting in the lurch epidemic. Every day the newspaper is filled with so many articles about swine flu, and H1N1 virus that were non existent till now. Yesterday only I read that the first human infected with swine flu was a small boy from the city of Mexico who lived closer to large pig farm. For those who don't know, the virus is spread from pigs but is now fast transferring among humans. It made me wonder how secure our children are or as a matter of fact how secure are we?

Already 180 deaths reported in Mexico due to swine flu and Chicago and Texas making the beeline, this H1N1 influenza is commuting real fast. The travel plans are being cancelled and professionals are being cautioned to travel to infected cities. The international airports are on high alert with team of doctors monitoring visitors and quarantining them at the slightest provocation. India is fast buckling up to handle this situation. There are 5 suspect cases in India as of now which are being kept in tight observation and are quarantined to contain the effects of the swine flu virus.

With around 67% jump in the confirmed cases of H1N1 virus or swine flu since Friday,we as individuals also need to be ready when it comes to controlling the spread of a potential epidemic already covering 18 countries. Here are few precautions that we should take to safeguard our kids and ourselves from swine flu:

If you come across symptoms like body ache and fever, do not ignore.
Do visit a physician if the condition stays for more than 24 hours. It can be coughing, sneezing and upper respiratory disorders.
In case of even the slightest doubt, start using a mask while coming in contact with the child and otherwise. Take a test because timely diagnosis is the savior.
Wash your hands frequently and use good hygiene practices with your child.
Keep the kids clean and use sanitizers.
If you see any person or child with the prolonged flu like symptoms, advice him or her to go to doctor or inform the appropriate authorities to conduct the check.

There is no proper medicine for swine flu, it is only the timely care that can help in saving the precious life. This does not mean that you should start panicking and start feeling the heat of the moment but it definitely means that you should be ready to gauge the onset. The government for sure is taking measures but we should also do our bit in taking control of the situation and making world a safer place.

MMR: Is your child vaccinated?

2009-04-28T13:07:00.005+05:30

It is this time of the year in our region when chicken pox, measles and German measles spread their wings. Recently my hubby went down with rubella measles or German measles as they are popularly called. It sent me into tizzy as Maks is yet not vaccinated for measles. I recently got him the shot for chicken pox and doctor suggested we have to wait till next month for another vaccine.

MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) is a vaccine for preventing these diseases. When we were children, there was no vaccine that's why if we hadn't got any of these autoimmune diseases in childhood, we will catch them now as happened with my hubby. Rubella measles is a mild form of normal measles which is characterized by red rash all over the body accompanied by some cold and cough and sometimes conjunctivitis. The lymph nodes can swell and can give you a little pain in your joints.

The most important part is that it is communicable. It spreads through talking, coughing and sneezing. The person carrying the virus may be spreading it even one week before the appearance of any symptoms and one week after the onset of rash. The rash usually disappears in 3 days, that's why these measles are also known as 3-day measles. The rubella virus has incubation period of 2-3 weeks so you never know that you may be carrying the virus and spreading it without your knowledge.

Children are usually vaccinated with MMR from 15-18 months and then another shot at around 2 years of age. I am already running one month late and keeping my fingers crossed. Although I kept Maks and my hubby confined in their separate rooms (believe me it was next to impossible) but you know children. They do not have a body as resistant as adults. So I am now tiptoeing counting the days to get him vaccinated with MMR and praying that he does not catch it meanwhile.

Importance of playschools

2009-04-16T10:51:00.020+05:30

It is always a pleasure to see children achieve milestones whether it is their first laugh, first walk or first ever word (I would like to hear Mama but seems his first word is banana :)). The first step towards independence is when your child first joins a playschool. There is no definitive age to explore this idea but parents like me are usually skeptical. I don't want to send my child to playschool just because everyone else is doing so and moreover people of our generation have turned out quite well even without going to playschools. But the competition is severe in today's world and the kids need to be ready for this. But what sets the ball rolling is the shattering of the myth that playschools have anything to do with academics.

We need to understand the importance of playschools before actually making up our mind. This is just like a social networking place in our lingo where kids can meet their similar age group counterparts and hence they learn to venture socially and of course this puts an end to their around 2 years of jail seeing only the same inmates (read mom, dad and the maid) apart from few paroles. The idea is to develop sensory-motor skills and social skills. Have you ever noticed children imitating others? This is the best way to make a child learn new things and the efforts are optimum at playschools. Nursery rhymes, drawing, coloring, sorting, role playing are some of the ways that let children break their inhibitions.

Benefits of playschools

We more often than not get confused while buying age appropriate toys. Good playschools provide children with the age appropriate toys enhancing their overall development and contributing to their learning process without stressing them out.
Children definitely become much more interactive and aware of their surroundings. Even if we are 24*7 with them, the efforts are not as targetted as in playschools.
Formal schools have more hours of separation as compared to playschools with 2-3 hours of outing so playschools prepare the kids for what is about to come and reduce the separation anxiety.
We all want to give the best to our children through different approaches of parenting. Meeting other parents opens the gateway for such interactions so it is not only the kids that are benefited by playschools.

Choosing a playschool

Playschools these days are open in every nook and corner of the neighborhood you live in. What is important before choosing a playschool is to see whether the school is qualified enough to handle such small babies. The kids need to be treated very tenderly at this age and any bad influence or wrong exposure can seriously affect their growth. So have a detailed check before you leap at the opportunity of registering your child in the nearby school.

Playschools are not a necessity and stay at home moms can work the things out although not at the same pace as in playschools. It is a matter of personal choice and your ideology in upbringing your child. But if you choose to put your child in a playschool, make sure it is the right place and is not just an over the top daycare.

Virtue of happiness

2009-04-07T13:33:00.002+05:30

My son loves to watch cartoons. His favorite are Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck especially when they are dancing and not to forget Richie rich. To my surprise, he likes the dog and not the boy in Richie rich. Nevertheless he enjoys cartoons so much that sometimes he laughs out loudly just by seeing them jumping around (not doing any funny act). And I wonder, what is so funny? It is not only the cartoons, you give a weird expression, cover your face with your hands and start playing hide and seek, these kids giggle so wholeheartedly that the entire day brightens up.

In this fast paced life, how often we take the time out and laugh out loud or do the things that we love to do the most. It can be going on a picnic or just watching the sun rising or playing with the kitten or dog in your porch, the small things that used to give so much of happiness to us as a kid, as a matter of fact even now. With the whole day governed by the the hands of clock, getting up at 6, preparing kids for school, packing hubby's lunch, struggling to make and get them eat breakfast, putting them on bus, picking them up as the clock strikes one, lunch hour, resting for a while, playtime, dinner time, life is so mechanical. We often forget to relax and smile.

I don't want to wake up one day with wrinkles on my face and regret that I could have enjoyed life a little more, I may have done the things other way around. I want to do it now, and live my life to the fullest, i want to start enjoying those small moments again that used to give me so much pleasure. I want to laugh out loud. Do you too want to make the most while the sun shines. I bet you do.

Side effects of Amoxicillin

2009-03-12T11:44:00.007+05:30

As I wrote in my previous post, Maks got heat stroke. I thought he would be fine soon but the things got worse when we came back home. The reason was his denial to milk due to which he was only eating bit by bit and his whole digestion went for a toss. For the next two days, he was only sleeping and sleeping, not having food at all. It was just horrifying for me.

We took him to the doctor. He requested blood and urine investigations. For infant's blood sample, they prick the needle in the upper part of the wrist taking away the blood drop by drop. At that time it was not only my son that was crying but there was no choice. We had to be strong and get over with it. Investigations revealed a minor viral infection and he prescribed Amoxicillin.

I gave him the first dose and within half an hour, he puked. As the evening approached, he started to show signs of diarrhoea. We immediately went to the doctor and he then told us very simply, "it is quite common". I really felt disappointed as he should have mentioned all these things to us beforehand so that we could have taken these reactions or side effects of amoxicillin easily and would not have panicked.

During the five day course of the amoxicillin, although vomiting subsided but diarrhoea remained as usual. The problem was he was not eating or drinking anything apart from little tit bits and was losing so much of fluid. Thankfully things started turning favorable and he started taking little bit of milk, juice and some food as well. As soon as the course finished, his diarrhoea also subsided and he was improving on the eating front.

Just in case, you have to give your child amoxicillin, keep in mind the following side effects so that you do not panic and can handle the things more effectively:

Vomiting
Diarrhoea
Skin rash

These are the most predominant side effects of amoxicillin. Try and give Oral Rehydration solution (ORS) to the child and as much water as possible. If he or she shows reluctance to ORS as my son did then adding a little bit of sugar and salt to juice can work well. Give lots of fluids and specially during illness, don't force the child to have anything that he or she does not want to.

All these things worked for my son. Although he did lost some weight, he is now fine, happy and running as usual. It is always difficult to pass through the time of illness and specially when there is a child involved, you seem to lose all your interest. With him again screaming and taking the whole house by storm, I am happy and back to my normal self. I think I like being a chasing, scolding mom :)

Birthday in Goa

2009-03-04T10:15:00.006+05:30

It was my birthday and my hubby planned a nice surprise. Just two days before my favorite day, he announced we are going to Goa. Oh! My God! was my instant reaction. Anyone who knows my love for beaches can very well read the thoughts and emotions behind this reaction. For those who don't know India well- Goa, a city of beautiful beaches, is a paradise where you will find nature at its very best. With large palm and coconut trees adorning the sand make the place look serene. This is the only tourist spot in India that has more foreigners than the native people.

The next very moment reality sunk in and I hesitated on the thought of handling Maks, my son, away from home. After all it was going to be the first long vacation with him. But the temptation of one of the most wanted holiday spots on my list took the better of me, we packed our bags and we were off to Goa. That was the best birthday ever with candle light dinners by the beach side, attending shack parties and days full of fun and water sports.

Handling Maks was quite a task though. I have always considered him a game for new things. He likes going out and loves water so the least expected reaction was he being scared of a beach. Children always surprise you and so did he. The moment I put his feet in water, he started crying at the top of his voice and was running away. I was shocked and couldn't understand what was happening. Then I realized it was not the water but the typical sound of splashing waves that made him uncomfortable. One incident that I can clearly recall is he looking at the waves while sitting in my lap and then immediately burying his face in the cozy corner formed by my arms. It looked as if he was again trying to get into my womb. Throughout the entire holiday, one of us used to be with him out of water and the other one enjoying alone.

We tried and failed but never stopped trying. And finally just before the day we were about to leave, he was feeling ok. I won't say he started liking the waves but he was getting used to the idea. He threw another big challenge my way. Somehow, he suddenly showed reluctance to take formula milk and that is the only option when you are on move. I really had a hard time making him drink and eat things. May be he was not feeling good from inside. He had lots of water but very little milk. We came to know later that it was a heat stroke.

It was a learning experience in terms of taking care of kids on a holiday. They have to be handled much more carefully and cautiously than adults. We have the endurance but there is still time for them to be that strong. Nevertheless it was a holiday worth remembering both for good and little tough times. And that’s the way it is with kids around.

Dyslexia

2009-02-05T10:51:00.002+05:30

How often do we try to understand our kids?
How often do we acknowledge that they are right?
Kids try to convey things one way or the other but we don't listen. Parents are like that sometimes. When I was in school, there was a cousin of mine notorious to be the naughtiest child around. He used to come home with big zeros in tests and his parents used to fight over him. Cursing him and each other was the order of the day in their home. But what they seemed to ignore was the special talent he had in his hands and ears.

He was very good with music. All the music classes we joined together, he was a topper all the way. But his parents never bothered to groom his talent as for them academics make your life and not so called extra curricular activities. After a while, he was not even allowed to join any extra course other than studies. His all ambitions to make it big in the music industry were nipped in the bud and there he was, still not understanding the gibberish teachers used to teach him at school.

One day a medical drive in school revealed the details to his behavior. He was dyslexic. His parents were called and they were told he was a special child and needs a special school. They couldn't understand. "He was a naughty child with no interest in studies, that's it, there was nothing more to it", they thought. But the problem was deep. The school also didn't understand.

Dyslexia is a disorder that causes learning disabilities. The children often jumble up words, confuse with similar sounding words, wrong spellings every time. This disability is different from any neural problem. These children don't need special schools as they are not physically or mentally challenged. A little extra care and understanding of their problems can make them excel in studies.

As parents, many a times we ignore the activities of our children, not on purpose but by presuming things. Dyslexia demands care and not whipping. If you find your child repeating the same mistakes again and again and a definitive pattern in his study related problems, do consult a doctor. Get him or her analyzed and please don't jump the gun and write off your child by saying he or she is good for nothing. Studies is not the only area of expertise or something your child should excel in. Groom the special talent he or she has and give them the confidence that you understand. And you will see, how your support works wonders for your child.

Age gap in kids

2009-01-23T12:17:00.006+05:30

I was 6 years younger to my brother. When he was 14, I hardly knew what growing up means. We used to fight over petty issues and used to yell at each other. He was a teenager and i was still a kid. I used to hang around him like a baby chimp and he used to avoid me like plague :). He was not really comfortable with the idea of baby sitting his little sister, i think most teenagers aren't. I always remained a kid in his eyes and never experienced a friendly relation with him. When I became a teenager, he was advising me full throttle as if mom, dad were not enough and I used to hate him. I guess it was the raging hormones and rush of the hour.

We always had different issues to ponder on. When I was concerned about what we are going to play, he was looking for seclusion just like many teenagers. When I looked for isolation, he was banging on my door. We were always at loggerheads. It was not that we didn't loved each other, but we were always at different junctures of life to lend a patient ear to one another. We grew up, went our ways, got married and now we both have kids. We now have a much better understanding but we are still not friends.

What didn't let us be friends was the very significant age gap and it created more of a generation gap. Now, when I have my own kid, it makes me wonder what my son will be like with his younger brother or sister. I don't know how much age gap is good enough for the kids to be more pally to each other but I know this for sure that i want them to be friends. I want them to grow with an understanding of each others' priorities. Obviously you cannot stop them from fighting with each other and it is definitely a part of growing up but you can sure do what is in your hands. Do you know what should be the age gap among siblings or have you experienced the age difference? Let me know what you all have to say about it.

I wanna play

2009-01-20T15:44:00.004+05:30

I have become very lazy lately. Its may be because I stay at home. I always try to take my son to park so that he mingles around but I usually fail miserably as I am not at all a regular. I feel so enthusiastic one day and then don't even mumble the word "park" for a week or so.
But guess what, who is now pushing me... my 15 month old son.

Maks is growing more and more independent and cries in the evenings and do all the weird things to signal that he wants to go out. If he could speak, he would have turned the house upside down yelling "I wanna play... I wanna play...". When bell rings, instead of me, he is out there to welcome the guest or rather push the guest away and go out himself. My hubby is now on the job of taking him to park although I too join them once in a while.

The first day my hubby went to the park, he felt really embarrased. He was the only dad there, and was thronged by so many moms... :) he was happy though... :) But nevertheless both of them enjoyed themselves... Maks now has a routine of going to park and take rides... He loves see-saw and sliders... And we love to watch him play and lost in his own world.

When you run out of patience

2009-01-06T15:54:00.004+05:30

In my earlier post on patience, Patience revisited , I mentioned about how you can go about raising a baby with some understandings of the real world. Here I am talking about slightly bigger babies like toddlers, how to deal with them when they drive you crazy. When you run out of patience, you tend to blurt out words that you don’t mean. If an adult is at the receiving end, he or she reciprocates, things heat up mostly ending up in a bad fight, not talking for days but patch up does take place because adults understand this behavior (although I think this is still not a justified reason to yell). If it’s a child on the receiving end, the poor kid takes meanings to his heart and of course even the unintentional things hurt badly and affect the child’s psyche.
A parent should always be very careful with the child because they have very innocent and have very impressionable minds.

Here are some things, which you should never tell your children whatever might be the circumstances:

· Comparison: Never use statements like, why can’t you be like neighbor’s son or your sister/brother. It makes children feel inadequate and also can cause a rift between siblings.

· Passing the buck: Saying statements like “wait until your dad comes home” undermines your authority and can also be a tension. The other parent comes home tired, may not handle the things they way it should be or the way you like. Deal with bad behavior then and there.

· Terrifying kids: Terrifying kids may work temporarily but there is always a danger that they may feel very terrorized and can lead to nightmares. Use a stern body language and tone to make the children realize what they need to do. Tell them calmly what you want them to do and listen what they have to say.

· Exploiting anxiety: We often use phrases like “I will leave you, hurry up” not knowing that the biggest fear children have is that they will get lost. Kids never have a sense of urgency as adults so you need to push them to get ready early.

· Labeling your child: By saying things like, “you are a bad boy” or “you are very naughty”, instead of managing the behavior, you are making sure that the child also starts believing in your words. You need to separate the child from his or her actions.

· Homework: Children are already so bogged down by their homework that they do not need us to sit on their backs and increase the load. When we say, ”why are you not getting it, its so simple”, it makes them nervous and probably deteriorates the condition. Help them learn and make it fun.

I try not to lose my patience and not use words that can be hurting, but there are times when I am driven against the wall. At those times, I shut my mouth and be completely silent, that works best for me. It is not always possible to walk the straight line but by knowing where the straight line is, one can coordinate one’s actions.

Mysterious life

2009-01-05T14:29:00.004+05:30

There is something about weddings,engagements that tend to uplift your mood. I usually become so peppy as if its my own. As usual I was very upbeat because there was a very close friend's brother's engagement few weeks back. They have to go to another city for that. Although I was a bit tied up,so couldn't go, but my hubby did went there and I was so jealous. He had a very good time. Next morning, the phone rang. My hubby picked it up. I don't know what the person on the other side was saying but I found him completely shell shocked. I asked him and he didn't responded for a while. My heart started pounding so heavily that I could hear it in my ears. I shook him and asked him again, he took hold of my hand and told me, that our friend has met with an accident and is in the ICU. I just couldn't speak a word. "How could it happen? Yesterday only,they were all merry making and suddenly.... What could have gone wrong?", I started thinking without blinking an eye.

We went to the hospital,his brother then explained everything.Somehow they decided to leave for their place that night only after engagement. Our friend was driving accompanied by his cousin brother at front seat and at the back seat were his cousin brother's wife,their 6 month old and his own wife. In the dead of the night,a truck came from nowhere,colliding sideways, causing the car to turn and hit from the left side to the rear of the truck. The impact was so high that the cousin's wife who was sitting just behind him, hit her head and went into comma that very moment. They were immediately taken to the hospital. Our friend's jaws got broken,face disfigured but at least he was there with his family and his wife almost escaped unhurt with just few scratches. The fate took a very bad turn for the cousin's family. The cousin found his ball-socket joint of thigh and pelvis completely damaged. The granny tried to take care of the 6 month old ,he was crying endlessly,no one knew what happened to him. No visible injury was there so they thought its just the absence of his mom. But when he started veiling badly,they got him examined and found his two ribs crackled.

Life is just so unexpected. One moment you are happy and enjoying, the other moment fate has some other plans for you. I can't help but think, what the future holds for that 6 month old who even before coming to his senses is seeing his parents in such a state, mom in a deep slumber and dad who cannot pick him up and tell him,that everything is all right. That night everything changed for them,life just went for a roller coaster ride.
Today is only the time you have,this very moment is what is yours. That's why they say,treat everyday in your life as if it is the last day and live it to the fullest. Don't miss a moment. Hold your children,your loved ones close to you and tell them how much you love them. Life experiences make you stronger and this incident made me realize the importance of everyday,every moment.

Christmas holiday

2008-12-26T13:23:00.006+05:30

I don't consider myself a movie buff but once in a while I do like to go to theaters and have a big screen experience. From the last 2 years I wasn't going out for movies.In pregnancy I read somewhere that babies inside may get frightened by so loud sounds and after that was not sure how my son would react in theater. I let go of many good releases in two years because i thought I would be spending more time outside the theater pacifying Maks (my son) than inside. After all being a child never means sitting at one place for 2-3 damn hours.

The Christmas holiday was coming and we were thinking what to do, my hubby then proposed,"lets go a catch up a movie". It was a good time because a very nice movie of my favorite actor was releasing.I was dreaded at first by the suggestion, but the thought of Aamir Khan, my favorite actor, forced me to think twice and finally I agreed to break this 2 year long hiatus and believe me I was not even a bit dissapointed. The movie, Ghajini, a typical bollywood movie was superb and performance of Aamir Khan was simply fabulous. Although his dialogues were so limited, yet he conveyed everything by expressions and that too remarkably. And what added to my happiness was the fact that Maks really did not created any fuss and allowed me to enjoy the movie. I took the advantage and treated myself with not one but two movies,how opportunist I am .... :) ya but other one in the comfort of home. I watched Slumdog Millionaire. Wow! what a movie it was. Very well directed and some exceptional performances by lead actors as well as their child counterparts. A movie made by a foreigner,tapping the right nerves of India.

So this is how I spent my Christmas holiday. Ohh! I forgot to mention a photo session of my lil Santa and a sumptuous Christmas cake... :)

Here is my lil Santa looking out of terrace for probably real Santa :)
How was your Christmas ?

A day of self realization

2008-12-22T11:49:00.005+05:30

When I first quitted my job after my son was born, i wasn't quiet ready for it. Though i was willing to give my complete time to my son but somehow i missed my job very much. Every day i sulked, fought with my husband as he turned my punching bag,sometimes shown my anger to my son too which was not fair at all.What made me do this, i guess the thought of just wasting my time sitting at home and not being a contributor to my family finances.

As my son turned 1 year old, i started seriously thinking about getting back to work. It took me two months to muster the courage to go ahead.I thought I would just survey the day cares in my neighborhood as no potential domestic help I had at home. Yesterday, I went to a day care near my place. The lady was very nice and the way she was handling things, it was quiet professional. I was very impressed. Suddenly I saw an 8 month old who was crying inconsolably. I enquired and she told me that when ever the main door opens,he starts crying. I just couldn't bear the glare of his waiting eyes. He was looking for his mommy. Everytime the door opened,he thought his mommy had come to pick him and on not seeing her,he started crying. I just couldn't take it. Being a mommy has made me very sentimental, not that i was not a emotional person earlier,but now the tears just trickle and the heart melts down at the slightest provocation and when it comes from a child, you can guess my helplessness. I couldn't stop my self,went ahead and took him in my arms and gave him a reassuring hug. I don't know it touched him or not, but for a while he did stopped crying.

I talked to the lady for a while, checked all the toys,cribs and stuff the day care had for my satisfaction and when I was about to leave,the little boy just extended his arms towards me and in his language literally pleaded. If he could speak,he would have said, "Take me to my mommy please". This incident really shook me and I realized, how much may I say I need to get back to work, nothing is compelling enough overcome even the thought of leaving my son behind,let alone actually doing it. This visit to day care actually made me come to terms with what I am doing when I am sitting at home. I am not wasting my time, I am giving my son the nurture,the care he deserves and most importantly which no one else can give. These are his formative years and he needs me by his side.
God has his mysterious ways of sending his voice to you, all you need to do is to listen to it. I never thanked God enough for what he has given me, a wonderful, supporting,loving husband, a lovely son, a life anyone would want. I just can't stop counting my blessings, I thank you God for being there always.

Children and household chores

2008-12-15T16:30:00.004+05:30

As in my previous post (Involving and evolving a child), I mentioned about involving kids in household chores which seems like a difficult job.
What is so good about it?
Well I believe helping others promotes self esteem and boosts a child’s academic and social skills so why not inculcate that habit early on and house hold chores is one way. These chores teach them real world skills, which not even the schools can teach. But when you go about involving kids in these day-to-day activities, you should be clear about few things:

1) Do not expect perfection from them and so you need to curb yourself from constantly correcting them and constantly redoing their work.

2) Do not delay appreciation and do that when job is on going.

3) Do not order them for doing things, take an easier path, and ask them for help.

4) You can set the rewards to make it interesting, it could be letting them watch tv an extra hour or giving one extra scoop of ice cream or may be some allowance according to the age of child.

There is an age appropriate list of chores that I stumbled upon in one of my older cuttings from a newspaper. Here is how it goes:

Age 2 to 3
* Put toys at their place
* Put clothes in basket.
* Dusting
* Piling books

Age 4 to 5
* Make his or her bed
* Empty dustbins
* Bring in the mails
* Clear the table
* Answer phone calls.
* Helping with setting the table

Age 6 to 7
* Sort the laundry
* Help pack lunch
* Set the table alone
* Keep the room tidy

Age 8 to 9
* Put away groceries
* Make own snacks
* Clean table post meals
* Sew buttons

After that, I don’t think one needs a list :)

Although its still one year or so for me to involve my son in such chores but I can at least hope to make a good foundation and turn him into a responsible adult. Hope these tips are helpful for all those who are going through this phase of growing up their little ones.

Involving and evolving a child

2008-12-11T11:46:00.008+05:30

Kids these days are so fond of TV and video games that they hardly feel to play outside and enjoy any kind of sports. They are far away from the world of paper boats and fairytales. This behavior really irks me as a mother. I don’t want my son to be a couch potato and so do any of the moms. Although I agree that after a week of hard work, school, and homework, they need a break but that break need not be in front of the idiot box. These things go a long way in defining the personality of the child and life style when he or she grows up. So what all can we do about it?
We cannot completely ban them from watching TV and playing video games but of course we can define rules like set timings for TV and time for video games and do some fun activities:
1) Involving the kids in the household work, asking them for help so they respond better.
2) Going to parks for evenings and playing with them.
3) Encouraging them to play some sports, more outdoor activities that play a vital role in their overall growth.
4) Getting the age suitable games like scrabble and other good things that combine learning and fun.
5) Going to picnics, enjoying the nature with packed lunches and playing games like Frisbees.
6) Encouraging the habit of reading books.
Arindam Chowdhary, a renowned author, once said in one of his editorials, that if you want to give a good upbringing to your children, encourage them to read books, this will at least turn them into good human beings.
The prime aspect of childhood is to enjoy and learn skills at the same time and with our more tech savvy lifestyles, we are ruining that. The natural growth is hampered and kids are growing up indeed but without actually living their childhood. So wake up to this need of the hour, be in touch with the child within and be a child with them. Remember your own childhood and if we are able to give them even 10% of the time that we have, we have made their lives.

Travelling with the child

2008-12-04T23:36:00.002+05:30

Travelling with an infant is not easy but they say its easier than a toddler and I absolutely agree.I have travelled with my son when he was just few weeks old and I used to think it was tough till this journey happened. I was travelling alone with my one year old and he kept me completely on tenterhooks all the time.

As you all know,we were relocating from our place ,so my hubby went earlier than me to the new location to look for a home to move in.Although it was a terrifying idea yet I decided to join him later when the house is finalised.I spent all the time literally counting each and every minute. As soon as he said yes,I heaved a sigh of relief,immediately called the packers and got the entire house packed and moved.It was such a cumbersome job(and they say packers move not only house but also tension). Actually the problem was that my son suddenly turned so clingy,he was practically inseparable from me. May be,he was not happy with the idea of his house being ransacked by some strangers.There was no choice but to carry him all day long and do all the chores along with keeping an eye on the people working in my house.The day finally ended with all the stuff packed and me exhausted to my last breath.Next morning the whole stuff was loaded and moved and I was happy that I will be soon on my way to be with my husband.

It was now time for both of us to leave, both me and my son had a long journey ahead of us. I planned each and every aspect of journey so that there are no last minute jitters but I guess nothing goes as planned with a kid around. I found myself altering plans,panicking,rather having all the last minute thoughts,jumbling around and what not.I had to go by train for some distance and then take a flight.When about an hour of train's journey was left,my son suddenly turned erratic.Nothing was working on him,he didn't wanted milk,no music, no toy,nothing.These things worked earlier through the journey but now he was not falling for any of these baits.He was continously crying,trying to get away and making me feel miserable. Then i realised that he wanted what we always crave for so much.... independence,independence from my arms ,from all the inhibtions he was having,he wanted to be free. But I couldn't do that ,how could i just leave him all by himself?? Just then(to my rescue),seat next to mine got vacant,I made him sit there and gave him his much needed freedom. And there he was,with his charming smile as if nothing has happened.

Flight I thought would be easier.Firstly,because the run was of only 2 hours and secondly,the airport staff is always very supportive.I checked in ,went through security check, a staff member was with me throughout taking my luggage and helping me around so that I face no problem. I boarded the flight and my son was happy.I think the idea of traveling in the plane got to him :)(though he was travelling for the second time,first when he was just 40 days old :)) but you know kids are kids. Just an hour passed and he was again looking for a breather. The same idea of putting him in vacant seat couldn't work here because no seat was vacant and it won't be as well. I had to look for some new ideas before his controlled cries turned in to screaming. I made him even look out of the window but to no avail. His sleep time was just close by so I thought to myself," I just have to distract him with something, make milk, give it to him and make him sleep. Not a big deal,Is it"! Ohh,Believe me,I was struggling. The lady sitting next to me was reading a book. Hey! he is fond of books, eureka,i got the idea.. I turned his face towards the lady so that he can catch a glance of book .As soon as my son saw the book in her hand,he stopped crying, leaped forward and started playing with the pages. The lady was sweet enough to let him touch the book, meanwhile I took the bottle out,made milk for him and there it goes in his mouth and thanks god,he started drinking it while still playing with pages of book.I slowly distracted him to one of his toys and mission accomplished. I later apologized to the sweet lady for using her as a ploy but she was really kind. Thanks to her, finally I got all the things under control and I or rather we managed to reach safely and happily to my husband after travelling almost 2000 kms.

This journey was a real first hand insight into how to handle things when travelling alone with a child.

Here are some tips:

1) Don't feel frustrated if nothing goes as planned because rest assured, nothing will go as planned :)

2) Always be ready with the baby's food, milk, diapers, a set of clean clothes, hand towel etc. rather pack a small bag with these things and keep it handy.

3)You cannot keep the kids tied to one place so carry some nice distractions with you,like his favourite toys or anything that keeps him busy. Music was a big helping hand for me.

4) While travelling in plane, take care of feeding the baby while landing and take off to prevent his ears from clogging,otherwise it will be really painful.

5) Keep a check on the baby and your belongings all the time.

6) Keep the luggage as minimal as possible.

7) It will be great if you have a sling to carry the baby. It allows you to have your hands free and things will be lot more easily.

8) Last but not the least, don't mind to ask for help if you are unable to handle.

I can't imagine, how will I manage if I have to travel with my son being 2 or 3 years old as he is a very naughty child. I can just hope to have things under control as always. :)

I am back

2008-12-04T22:44:00.003+05:30

Hi Guys

I am back. Hope you all did lots of blogging and had fun. For me,it was a hectic schedule. Although I reached here in Pune a month ago but settling down and getting the broadband working took time.
I missed you all a lot.
Infact the moment Internet started working,the first thing i did was check my blog and visited all of you.Hope you got my messages.
Good to be back.
See you soon with a brand new post... :)

A short note

2008-09-27T17:30:00.002+05:30

Hi Guys

I know I haven't been a regular to your blogs and mine too from the last few days. Well I have been busy with our relocation plan. We are relocating from our current place and it will take few days or may be a month to again become blog savvy and meet you all...
I hope we will be in touch soon...
See you all,till then happy blogging...
I will miss you.. :-(

The Big D

2008-09-21T12:00:00.003+05:30

What come to your mind when you read the title????
Well no prizes for guessing but its the most important word in the dictionary of moms......... and its..... Discipline.

Sometimes the kids appear too small and sometimes big enough to introduce discipline but I feel its never too early. As soon as you can start disciplining your child,the better a person he will grow into. Most of us don't even know and instinctively introduce discipline like sleeping habits,eating habits. These are nothing but varied forms of training your child.

My 11 month old is very naughty.He knows when I am saying No but still will do those things. I don't know its out of sheer curiosity or the same behavior as adults (i have to do when some one says No :) ) But the good thing is that before doing something forbidden,he looks at me for the reaction and he is smart enough to play on it :)

The crux is that you need to start setting boundaries,differentiating the good from bad, not always but sometimes ignoring the no reason cries and letting the child know your reaction.Its very important and it works. As you understand the child's behavior,he is also working on understanding you are saying and what does it mean. Only the closer family, mom,dad and sometimes grand parents are the ones the children of this age relate to and understand them. So be loving,be tough,be sweet and be the best you can.

Tip: Before setting any boundaries and adhering to them,remember your child is still in the phase of understanding how this world and the things in it work so give relaxation one time or the other... :)

Workings Moms get well deserved break

2008-09-04T13:07:00.003+05:30

I read an article in the newspaper today regarding government panel proposing more maternity leave. Conventionally in India,the maternity leave period is three months which I believe is very less time. In three months,neither your baby is big enough to be left with someone else other than the mother nor as a mother you are fully cuperated.

It came as a relief when i read this news item because the panel has now propsed a maternity leave upto the period of 6 months and the leave that can be availed in continuation has been raised to two years. The panel has also recommended a flexible child care leave system and a disability allowance which the government has accepted. I must say that the government is now looking forward to a better future and a developed nation.

Although I could not take all these benefits for my first child and opted to leave the job, yet it is a very welcome decision for all the mothers who yearn for a career and growing up their kids side by side but have to choose one. For me,it was a consious decision,but had I have the opportunity to extend my leave even further,I would have done that and haven't left the job.
I don't know about the laws in other countries but hope that they are mother friendly and allow the children to grow in a healthier,nurtured environment.

Blogging Friends Forever Award

2008-08-29T13:07:00.004+05:30

This is the first one I am getting and I am so happy.... :)
A nice mommy blogger with a little prince Little Prince's mummy gave me this special award.Thanks so much dear mommy blogger.

Here are the rules:

1. Only 5 people are allowed to receive this award
2. 4 of them followers of your blog.
3. One has to be new to your blog and live in another part of the world.
4. You must link back to who ever gave you the award.

Ohhh only 5 people can be awarded :-( .There are so many I want to give this award to but had to settle down for these:

Have fun...

Moon Walk

2008-08-19T12:49:00.005+05:30

It all started when walking was not on the mind and life was more about sitting at one place. He held on to my both hands and tried to stand. I assured him,he moved on. First he left my one hand,looked startled.I told him he can do it,he was hesitant but tried,he fell down but again tried,this time with just holding on to my one hand,then a finger and.......

Yes my son has started walking and nothing in the world can be as joyous as this moment. I was waiting for this time to come for so long.
Here Maks in a candid shot

I know with him walking,more responsibilities come on my shoulders.Suddenly things that were over his head and well out of reach can pose a serious danger. I have to be more attentive and keep running behind him all the time.. :)
I have to keep all the dangerous things out of his reach and take care of all the cupboards.
The things that will require a review:

Electrical cords
Tablecloths
Window blind cords
Houseplants
Unsteady bookshelves

This is yet another milestone my son has achieved and he has also turned 10 months old on this 17th so it calls for double celebration.The feeling of seeing him walking for the first time is beyond expressing in words. I felt as if I walked for the first time,on moon :)

Out of Control

2008-08-11T12:34:00.003+05:30

I have been lately seeing many toddlers who throw tantrums endlessly. Recently I met a friend of mine who has a 3 year old daughter.They came by to visit my place and her kid literally ransacked my house. She was not at all listening to my friend and was picking things from here and there and swirling them around so badly that I was about to have a panic attack. She was all time trying to have her way. My friend followed an escape route by saying "yeh to sirf apne daddy ki sunti hai" translation "she only listens to her daddy". I really did not liked her approach of surrendering herself and that too by mentioning this in front of the child to make the kid even more aware of helplessness.

From that day onwards,i was so scared and thinking what makes children like this and how can I take care and not turn my child into a prankster. I mean being naughty is okay but there is a very thin line between naughtiness and hooliganism and I don't want my kid to cross that line.
The more i thought about it,the more I realised that it was apart from naughtiness,a typical attention seeking behavior that you normally find in kids.

Tricks according to me that can come handy:

You don't have to shout at the kids. This will make them more rebellious. You need to be firm yet understanding.
You have to make clear that this is not acceptable.
Thrashing won't be of any help. So be patient.
One needs to realize that if you are stopping them from having their ways every time,it does not mean that you don't love them.
If a child throws tantrums,ignore and make it clear through your behavior that this is not going to work.For eg: Crying in front of a toy shop. Just tell them then and there,that if they keep on crying they won't get it. You need to reason it out.
Most of all,you need to teach your child some basic manners like not getting on the sofa with dirty feet, washing hands, asking for permissions etc.

I don't know how helpful these tricks will be as I have not yet used them :) But I am sure you guys can tell me of some ways and also If I am thinking along the correct lines.
The question still looming in my mind, "How will I tackle my child if he tends to cross that thin line"??

My experiments with chicken and kids

2008-07-28T14:14:00.004+05:30

Few days back, my niece visited me. Like many children, she was also very choosy about what she will eat and what not. One thing was clear after seeing her likes and dislikes that she was a game for junk food and I was very disappointed on seeing her eating habits.

On a lazy Sunday, she was insisting badly on going out to have burgers. I somehow persuaded her to stay at home by bribing her with her favorite toys and stuff and promised to cook some really fantastic things for her. Although, not really convinced, but she agreed. And here I was, sitting and wondering what to make which does not require me to roast in the kitchen for the whole day, which is nutritious and she should find it delicious.

Bingo, came up with the idea of making chicken pineapple salad and chicken kathi rolls. Very healthy, nutritious and yummy. I went to the near by store and got all the ingredients. For me, they were so easy to prepare and for her believe me, they were lip smacking.

I think kids like good-looking food, which is different from the routine stuff. And for mommies it becomes a challenge to have correct blend of nutrition, taste and looks for that matter :)
I look forward to do some nice experiments so as to give healthy food and inculcate healthy eating habits in my little son.

For now, here comes my chicken pineapple salad:

Juicy chunks of chicken with even juicier pineapple mixed in generous amounts of mayonnaise (you can use hung curd as well to increase the nutrition factor) is sumptuous.

And here are the chicken kathi rolls:

Piping hot paranthas covered with beaten egg, having succulent pieces of chicken are heavenly when eaten with green dip or sauce.
You too enjoy the treat :).

Making bath fun time

2008-07-21T22:23:00.009+05:30

Although my son kept floating in water aka amniotic fluid for 9 months, but the first touch of water when he came out was not really rosy for him. He used to cry at the top of his voice and if it would have been possible, he would have ran his way out of the bathtub. And to be honest, I was not happy. I thought “ everyone likes water, what’s the matter with him”. What I didn’t realize that its actually his reaction to something alien.

Then I started looking out for techniques to make him friends with water. He initially didn’t liked the voice of filling the bath tub, so I decided to bring him in the washroom only when his tub is ready and somehow it seemed to appeal him. And now.

Here he is trying to catch the stream of water.

Instead of wetting him completely in one go, I made him touch water, then put it on his feet, hands.legs and then complete body. It allowed him to get familiar with the temperature and it worked.
Making him ready before the bath also helped. Following the same routine and speaking same words “Its time to take bath” allowed him to know that its time. And I observed, that he seemed to start enjoying it.
That’s when I decided to get a pool for him. And when I first put him inside his pool, his reaction was, if he could speak, “Oh My God, Mom where am I?” I think it’s the same with everyone, a child or an adult, change is not easily accepted. So I used a trick. He loves to play with his ‘Rock –A- Stack’. So I took its rings and put them in the pool.

When I brought him in, he was so excited to see his favorite rings in there, that he wanted to jump in.

See how excited he is.

Luckily, the toy he loves the most is waterproof and I could easily put that in water.
Now I am planning to get some goodies for his pool, squeezies, glow worms and most importantly mugs. This would help improve his motor skills.

Child Abuse:Break the silence

2008-07-08T13:26:00.005+05:30

"Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime" -Herbert Ward

Child Abuse is as common as it is shocking.Each year,thousands of children suffer from some kind of abuse whether it is physical,emotional or sexual leaving them scared for lifetime. Sexual abuse is heinous of them all and is a major problem in all countries particularly India. Lack of proper laws and lack of awareness on the subject causes criminals to walk scott free.

Most of the time the abusers are the ones whom you know and the child is supposed to trust, some relative,a friend,a caregiver,a neighbor, a teacher,coach or someone you religiously trust. A child in the fear of you not believing him or will be angry,choose not to speak, taking all the aftermath on him.And if in case,he or she choses to speak,you in the fear of embarrassment leave this topic unheard as if nothing has happened leading to double trauma for your child. Its you who can bring change and solace to the life of your child. No matter how big a scar is,proper nurture can heal it.

Come to terms with reality and realize before giving in to any societal pressure,that nothing is more important than your child's well being and I am not just talking about the physical well being.He needs to be cared for his emotional and psychological well being too.

Before going into the ways of handling it, I want you to always remember that Sexual abuse is never a child's fault.You need to believe that no matter what the adult says in his or her defense,the child does not invite sexual activity and the adult behavior is wrong.

Bring confidence in your child that you believe him no matter what.
Don't be angry if he comes up with any problem related or unrelated to this subject so that he feels free to approach you.
Encourage him to share with you if someone inappropriately touches him or forces him to undress,spies on him in bathroom or bedroom, exposes to adult material or exploits in anyway.
Along with encouraging an open talk,keep a close eye on behavior of your child,he suddenly becomes silent,starts remaining aloof, does not like to be in company of a particular person,afraid of being around a particular person.
These days,abusers do not even spare infants because they are easy targets and don't speak. So be alert and attentive when your baby is with a so called known person alone. I am not saying that you should start doubting every other person around but at least don't trust blindly.
And if unfortunately something happens with your child,please be there for him or her.Do not hush up. Confront the person and take him to task.
Fathers should teach their boys how to treat girls.Boys pick up habits from their fathers,coaches so be an example and show them how to respect a women and not outrage their modesty.

Remember,you did not took the pains and fathers you did not waited endlessly to bring your child into the world to make him or her suffer for lifetime. So stand up against this evil and break the silence.

Religion:Passing on faith

2008-07-04T13:04:00.003+05:30

Few days back,I was going through one of the blogs and read about religion.I started thinking about how I would want my baby to inherit the religion.

I would like him to tread he path of religion like I did,on my own. Every religion teaches faith in God but not every religion has same God. I believe in the existence of the ultimate power that always backs you. This faith not only has given me the high of life but I have always remain grounded as well. No matter how bad a situation is,I have always turned to Him and found a way out. If in any situation,luck matters, God brings me that luck. I always felt myself as God's chosen one because He is always been there for me.

I want my child to believe in the Almighty,find peace in His blessings. I want him to know that if he is working hard,giving his best and is being a good soul,he will always be treated as God's special child.He will always be taken care of. I hope I will be able to instill in him the Faith and give him high moral values.

Introducing new foods

2008-07-01T13:04:00.003+05:30

Being a mother of 8 month old,I can tell you how difficult it is to make your baby eat for the first time. But,contrary to what I earlier thought,IT IS POSSIBLE.

The baby,I don't know about others,but mine is sure to reject any new food not once but many a times. I felt so disappointed that I started thinking, will he only be surviving on milk? But thanks god,to my much needed relief, after a number of unsuccessful attempts I finally got it right. Some mothers start the first foods when the baby is 4 or 5 months old but some over cautious mothers like me don't do it until that 6 month mark is reached.I started with cereals because they are most risk free and does not cause any allergies. Rice cereals works best initially but I think babies don't like it much.

This is how I managed my trysts with the first foods:

I tried many times inspite of him rejecting it. In a single day, I tried twice and then again the next day and gradually found him developing a liking for it. Probably he was not getting used to the taste and the idea of eating.
Another trick i tried that got me through was to give food with the milk feed. Some amount of milk and then something to eat. This strategy allowed him to relate eating to hunger.Then later on,I started giving him food in between feeds and it works fantastic.
Remember,the babies think that the only way to satisfaction when they are hungry is milk because this is how it is always. So never give them first foods when they are very hungry and also not when when they are not hungry. That's why the above mentioned strategy in the last point also works.
Try milder foods at first with less odour and if possible no odour at all.That's why certain babies don't take bananas well as a first food although it was not the case with my baby.
Distraction works. Initially distracting the baby with a toy or using some ploy to open his mouth is okay so that he starts accepting things. But make sure it should be used as sparingly as possible because he should have a habit of having food without any prop.
Go slow and don't introduce a number of foods at a single time.I introduced one food at a time for few days and then tried another one so that he becomes familiar with whatever is given to him.

I am still trying and making him familiar with different types of foods and preferably not the sweeter ones because I don't want him to develop a sweet tooth in the beginning itself. You can find your child picking up a fruit from the table in later years but he will be selective with the veggies. So I am trying my hand at veggies more so that he starts and develops a liking towards them.
Would really like to know some more tips and tricks from your side.

Its really important that a child has healthy eating habits so that he becomes a healthy adult and if that is possible by putting a little extra effort on my part,I won't hesitate to do it.

How to make the baby sleep longer

2008-06-24T12:57:00.011+05:30

As I heard from many moms,read it on blogs and experience myself, the major concern that largely looms on mother's mind is how to make the baby sleep longer in the day as well as in the night.Here are some of the ways I experimented with and got lucky. Before furthering our discussion first of all remember that this is surely possible and be ready to make the change.

Making baby sleep longer in the day:

You need to do it because that's the only time which you get for yourself and completing all the household chores.
Pointing out some ways to achieve this:

Create an ambiance. Pull down the curtains,lower down any music or tv if watching. Basically you are preparing the child for the sleep.He will soon start recognizing these signals.
Babies after taking shower feel hungry and sleepy. Use this time to induce a good sleep and its sure shot that the baby will sleep not less than 2 hours at all and sometimes even more.Make this time as peaceful as possible.
Some experts also say that if baby takes ,say,3 naps a day, reduce them to 2 and he will sleep longer.

Tip: If the child wakes up cranky,crying, you can put him back to sleep easily with little caressing(chances are that he woke up because of some disturbance).

Making baby sleep longer in the night:

Obviously you would want your baby to sleep through the night without interruptions so that you can have a good sleep. It is said that after 6 months of age the baby is capable to make through the night without feeds but I still see mothers of toddlers cribbing about sleepless night.
Listing down some tried and tested ways which worked for my baby who is 8 months of age and makes through the night:

As the experts say,form a bed time routine. Make sure you follow it every night and try stick to it. Remember the routine should not be too long because if it is,it will be tiring for you and will also divert the bay's attention from sleeping to other things.
Make the baby eat something good(in other words a little heavy) an hour before giving him night feed.
I have seen that more the babies are happy and peaceful during the day,the better they sleep during the night.If a child is crying or unhappy during the daytime,most likely he will wake up again and again in the night.
He may wake up at night to pee,take him to pee and put him back to sleep,he will sleep without making any fuss.
If the baby is breastfed,he may cry for milk just to fall back to sleep but you have to be strong enough to set a pattern.Don't give milk unless until you are sure that he is hungry.
Be flexible. Its not always possible that babies will follow your guidelines,he may be having some problem to go back to sleep which sometimes happens with us adults as well. Bear with it.

Tip: Pat the child on his back if he is disturbed in his sleep and if possible stay near him until he goes back to sleep if he gets up(he will sleep with a sense of security and less likely to wake up).

Inducing new sleep patterns or routines will be difficult for your child and for you as well so be patient. Keep your ears ready and heart strong to hear out his cries.Soon he will fall into this pattern.
Bravo,you have taken a step towards introducing good sleeping habits in your child.

Dealing with a child

2008-06-21T12:36:00.004+05:30

How to deal with a child?
Its a very sensitive subject and most of us forget to play by the rules of the game.We always want our children to be sensible and not rebels. Supportive environment starts from day one and encouragement never fails.

There are some simple ways that will take a child parent relationship way ahead of any other bonds:

Always remember that your children are precious. Think twice before loosing your cool.
Set clear rules but never hesitate to lend a helping hand.Being a parent,you are the one the child will always want to depend on. Provide them that boost.
Do not criticize the child in front of others.It may just be an expression for you,for him its a matter of embarrassment.
Listen to what your child has to say seriously. Give your opinion and also the reason for your opinion.
Never be a dictator. With this policy you may rule the world but will never be able to win ur child's heart.
Mind your behavior. Children pick things from what's happening around,if you are yelling,hitting,it gives the children also a chance to do the same.
Always tell them the importance of family and the fact that they are answerable to the family for their actions.

Always remember that they are your responsibility till the time they chose to tread different paths of life. Nurture,nourish and be there,but never chose to give up.

Tip of the Day

2008-06-20T16:44:00.001+05:30

Give your children all the attention they need at early age and they will grow into responsible adults.

Parents as role models

2008-06-18T17:08:00.003+05:30

I saw a happy meal virtually turning into sad as I read through recent post of my fellow blogger Jeff Iversen, I realized how fast food is getting under the skin of children today.They pick these habits either from their parents or from their peers. If this has come from their peers,you can still tackle this problem as a parent but what would you do when you yourself is a slave to junk food and see your child inflating like a balloon with those empty calories he is putting on.

Do today's parents really make as good role models? Do children really feel like following their parents? We often crib that children do not listen,they argue. The answer lies in your hearts. If you peep a little deeper,you yourself will realize what kind of example you are setting for your children.This does not stop at the kind of food you eat but what you talk,what you feel,what you portray,all in all what you are. How proud do we feel when we see our children as reflection of ourselves."He looks like me",the comment itself fills a parent's heart with pride but if he is picking up all my wrong habits,I would rather say,its good he is not like me.

To bring your child in control,first you need to be in control.You need to curb all those habits which you will never want your child to have may it be futile anger,a sky rocketing ego or being an emotional fool. Stop your child from doing wrong but do not give him an opportunity to pin point yours. Lead by example.

Biggest mistake

2008-06-16T16:41:00.002+05:30

How often did you find your mom comparing you to others? I would say most of the times. Usually parents compare their kids with the other kids of their age to create a hypothetical benchmark. Oh! See he is growing taller,you are not.He studies 8 hours a day but you don't. He plays tennis and wins,don't you feel like doing something good with yourself. Most of us grew up hearing these remarks and believe me I hated these comments beyond imagination.This comparison does not start when the kid starts going to school,it starts way before that,I think from the day the baby is born. May it be regarding baby's weight,his crawling,the day when his first tooth comes out,mothers compare each and every thing.And when they do this,they forget one simple thing,Individuality,of their child.

Every child is unique in his own way and has individual traits.That's what sets him apart from the rest of the world. And so his growth patterns,his interests,his views and the way he handles the situations.What you need to understand is how to respect his individuality and not to make the biggest mistake of comparison. When you compare a child to others,and sometimes even in siblings(that's the worst), you end up doing nothing but hurting yourself and more than anything you are hurting your child's psyche,stirring him emotionally and making him distant.

I very well understand that comparison is inevitable but when does a sweet little comparison turn into a nerve wrecking monster,you won't even notice,but your child will. He will always feel himself buried under a great deal of pressure,pressure to prove himself to his family, which he always thought, will stood by him through thick and thin.He will start looking for attention from other people rather than you.He will start finding solace in other things rather than your embraces or heart to heart talks. And if the child is emotionally weak,this constant banging may turn him completely against you and he will be a rebel.
One question that comes in mind,why parents do it?

Reasons could be many : status,standing in society,just to push the child and sometimes due to mere frustration.Its not necessary that if X's child is topping the class,Y surely has to do it. Y may not be academically so brilliant but he could have those creative skills that people always yearn for but never get it. So what should you do? As I said in my previous posts as well,read their psyche and this starts right from the beginning. Have confidence in them.Let them be themselves.Groom them in their specialised areas. Show them the right way but don't push them to follow someone's footsteps. Have a friendly and an open approach so that a child can always come to you,discuss his fears,his life. And if you have to give an example,tell him to be role model for himelf.
As i read in one of Shahrukh Khan's interviews,that he tells his children "Loosing is not an option" and this he does not say with any vengeance or anger.What I make out of it is that when you loose,try even more harder and don't let loosing be an option for you.And this is what I ll try and teach my child too.

Born Happy

2008-06-05T17:42:00.002+05:30

Like all parents,I too love my baby unconditionally. But I can't help wondering whether my child is really happy. As a matter of fact,Are children born happy? If you believe most of the parents,they will say a big YES. Then how come an angry father has an angry son,they would say! Genes for sure but no you are mistaken.Happiness or anger is a mood and not a gene that will be there when a child is born.The son grows up to be angry because he saw his father behaving in the same manner and getting away with this. And also the way he was handled in his toddler years for his wrong behaviours.One child may be laughing on falling from a tree and another one may be sobbing endlessly if his softy melts away.That's the temperament of the child. But ofcourse,his temperament will determine that how you should nurture him so that he grows into a happy child.Every child is actually a cocktail of nature and nurture. The more you understand his nature,more will be the ideas you will come up with to deal with him. A snobby little baby does not necessarily turns out to be a irritated teenager because the kind of treatment he gets as a baby will make the foundation for his later years.
If you come across a snobbish baby,try treating him with love and make him understand what you are saying and why you are saying.The children these days do not just shut their eyes and follow you for the sake of being a father or a mother. They demand for a reason and you should not turn them away by just passing a verdict and not explaining.If you follow the approach of being a dictator,you have the ability to convert even the happiest of the child into rebellious adult. It is very easy to know if your baby is happy or not when he is a tiny soul,who just babbles things and just about get on his feet because a radiant smile tells all. But as the child grows up,it becomes more and more difficult to know what's on their mind.As the child grows,he becomes more and more in control of his emotions and you will find it hard to predict his behaviour. From then on,you have to actually know him more deeply by talking to him,by understanding that why is he doing something. Every child has his own way of telling you that he is not happy. Some do not talk,some do not play,some start clinging to you and some may become distant. You are the best judge in such a situation to know his behaviour and comfort him.
A shy child can also seem to be a little distant. Do not confuse shyness with being sad.Go ahead,listen to what your child is saying even when he is not speaking. Read his manners,notice his behaviors,notice the changes and soon you will be the one having the complete control.
Good luck with raising a happy adult.

Patience revisited

2008-05-30T16:53:00.005+05:30

Tough job at hand. No,I am not talking about your work place,its about raising your sweet little angel. A baby although a bundle of joy yet a nuisance at times. The reason apparently is language barrier. He cannot understand you and you cannot understand him.Its just like a Japanese talking to an Indian(no puns intended),both don't know what they are talking about but they keep on talking. The only thing that comes handy when interacting with a baby is patience,and that too filled to the brim. The first one year puts you to a real test of motherhood because you could hardly make out why a child is behaving the way he is .When he is happy,not an issue but when he is crying,which we dub as no reason,could be a very big problem for him. I always thought of myself as the most patient person around but I realized how easily my fuse blows away when I became a mother. I am still learning the art of calming myself down when my baby defies every boundary,every limit I have put on him.He is here to explore,to see,to know and he will do what he wants to even if you put him in a cage(virtually ofcourse).

So what I am learning out of this one year of struggle is let go,stay calm and try teaching him with patience and love.You will many a times fail,the challenge is to be at peace with yourself and with the baby. When you feel you are going to burst, stay away from the baby. Babies although not knowing our language at this age can easily sense the anger. Hand over the responsibility for sometime to your husband or anyone whom you can trust with the baby. Relax and then go back with a revived smile to take over. Be as playful, as loving as you can be. Invent newer ideas to keep him away from the things you do not want him to pick or play with like divert his attention with his favourite toys . Music is what works for my baby, you can also find some alibi.
This way,you can keep yourself in your senses and can raise a healthy and happy baby.

Communication is the key

2008-05-26T15:17:00.003+05:30

Even before the child is born,he starts hearing.That's why they say that you should talk to your child when he is in womb wrapped up securely so that he feels comfortable when he is out in this big world of which he knows nothing. When he comes out,he won't understand even a word of what you say but he recognizes your voice,the tone of it and the love it showers. A baby will be able to make out of what you say until around 8 months old but that does not mean he is not listening. So keep talking to your child. Tell him about small things-his toys,things lying in the house and let him respond to what you say,sometimes with just a smile,a squeal or a giggle and you will realise,that in few months he is knowing the world around him through you.Stop him from doing what you think is wrong,I assure you he won't stop doing it but as soon as he starts understanding,he will understand the meaning of a NO. My 7 month old knows when I say No and stops there although after a few minutes, he is again on that track.
These conversations make your child aware and teach him a very special art,the art of communicating,which sometimes even we don't abide to. Let him be the master of his own world.Let him explore the world on his own but he should know that whenever he needs someone,you are just right beside him. These small things lay the foundation for strong and open communication between kids and their parents which parents always yearn for and this starts right when the child is born.
So don't wait,start today.

Use Diaper at night

2008-05-22T19:36:00.000+05:30

The one thing that a new mom cannot avoid is the sleepless nights.The infant needs to be feeded at every two hours interval and on top of it the baby continues to pee. Certainly,getting yourself wet or changing nappies in the middle of the night will be the last thing on your mind.As studies show,its not preferable to keep babies in diapers throughout.The key apparently is the temperature. It significantly increases the scrotal temperature effecting fertility of boys.As grannies say,do not keep babies in diapers and I guess that's ok. You should use diapers only when they cannot be avoided and using them in night is also one of those times because a new mom also has the right to sleep peacefully and the baby gets up only when he is hungry.As the baby grows,he will get up less frequently in the middle of the night and his cycle will adjust to yours,this is when you can use diapers at night occasionally. Why I am saying occasionally because you need to teach your child that even if its night,bed is not the place where you should pee. I came across a mother who kept her baby in diapers at night for so long that baby,although now she is 4 years of age, pees in her bed in the night because she never got that habit.So restricted use of diapers can leave you much more happier and fresh when you get up in the morning.

Cheers.

Pampers,Huggies,Wipro Baby Soft: Best Buy

2008-05-22T19:33:00.000+05:30

To continue my effort to help new moms, I came up with the idea of this article. As a new mom,atleast I tried every diaper available on the shelves to find the best one,the one which is comfortable for my baby,soaks well and keeps trouble many hours away. And believe me,it was hard.To start with,Huggies is one diaper that's been talked about the most in India probably but I found that quiet disappointing because Its not at all what it claims to be. It soaks less (be ready to change the diaper every 4-5 hours),the bulk is there,and since it lasts only for meagre 4 hours,you are always in a lurch that when its gonna leak.Wipro Baby Soft,another household name in India,introduced very recently and I must say impressive. I t soaks well,baby feels happy but it does not seem to fit so well. Moreover,its just like any other diaper and I won't say it feels like cloth.Once it is wetted,it will feel like same as others and very prominent bulk which I cite as a reason for not so good fitting.Pampers for the active baby have really met my expectations. Besides good soaking capacity(lasts easily for 10-12 hours and can be even longer), fitting is very nice,allows baby to move freely,the straps are less clumsy.Ya,bulk is there but I think bulk is something which you cannot avoid when using a diaper.So As far as my observation goes,I found Pampers the best for my baby and I hope it works for you too.

Finally we'll meet

2008-05-22T19:30:00.000+05:30

Hi FolksStarting my first blog ever with an article which I wrote for HT. It got published a week after my son arrived in this world and gave me all the happiness. So here goes my first piece of work:

You're such a part of me.
Can't wait to hold you in my arms,
And hug you tenderly.
No matter what you look like,
You're beautiful, my love,
A precious gift bequeathed to me,
From heaven far above.
Each time I feel you moving,
My heart is filled with joy,
I'm counting every moment,
Till you're mine at last, my sweet
It won't be long until your birth,
Then finally we'll meet.

How wonderful it is to see your own projection venturing into this world. It always amazes me when I think about how a mass of cells develops inside a women's womb and magically life starts evolving in it. It’s the biggest change a woman ever has in her life. Everything changes- your body, your mind, your relationships, your career, your responsibilities. It can be very overwhelming to know that you are responsible for a tiny little baby who cannot do anything by himself/herself. It is you who are going to nurture and grow him/her into adult. This little bundle of joy may be difficult to handle initially but the kind of bond they share with their mothers can be with no one else. When the baby starts responding to mother's small gestures, I think that's when a women starts feeling like a mother, her maternal instincts come into play. People say that kids tend to take patterns of their mother's talking style even in their crying. Mothers need to get to know their babies and pick their cues and behaviors to know what a baby wants when. It can be very taxing on your relationship with your partner because he is so used to getting your attention every time and then suddenly he won't be getting it. That's the time when you need to take care of both the fronts with sparing sometime for yourself as well. You need to develop a relationship with your child, take care of the bond with your partner and taking care of your emotional well being. Your partner needs to be really supportive and caring during all these times. Managing home, career and baby actually require a lot of self-belief and I believe every woman has the endurance to go through all the taxing situations and come out as a winner. Sometimes while being a juggler of tasks, one may feel a little incompetent and I think its perfectly normal due to so many changes around but no need to panic because as time will pass, you will again be back on track, having full control over your life.
Having a baby is a basic human experience, and as such is shared across cultures and centuries. It makes one feel a part of the world in a way that nothing else does. Each mother and baby is unique and each one of us needs to find her own style of mothering. Each stage has its own blessings and pressures – but a baby can help us to love unconditionally and spontaneously. It is a huge growth experience that changes your life and your values forever.