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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Missing Being Me...
Being a SAHM has its own perks. Even if you wake up early, you can snooze whenever you want once the kids and hubby are off to their respective workplaces. You can laze around the whole day doing nothing and no one will ask you to justify it :). No hassle of filling time sheets or reporting to boss. No deadlines to meet and no rush hour traffic to beat. Wow, that almost rhymes.. :)You can watch your favorite movies and TV programs anytime without waiting for the weekends to come. And the most gratifying of all is NO MONDAY BLUES.

But all this time I play either a wife, a mommy or a homemaker but what about being 'me'? I am someone's honey, someone's mom and someone's didi (that's what my maid calls me) but beneath all this role playing is a part of me that yearns to be myself. The part that wants to do something with her life. At the moment, I am in a tussle with my own responsibilities and desires. I have to soon figure out how to balance and do what I want or else I will be lost in the sea of faces and will never be able to relate to real 'me'.


My hubby clicked this pic of mine for the subject 'Hope'. And hope is what I am holding onto and looking hard for the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you feel this too? Have you found your calling? Have you mastered the balancing act? Tell me how you are dealing with it... cause I don't want to miss being me.

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10 Comments:

Missing myself?? hmm I'm still okay, still stick in my track as I'm a FTWM. Ya go and find yourself something you interested with eg. yoga, shopping, facial, or catch up with your friend. Explore yourself to the outside world, else your life will just your family and children.

June 30, 2010 at 12:42 PM  

I am not a SAHM, though I frequently fantasize about it. I have to say though, that working does not necessarily give you a sense of self, I often feel that I am a mom, wife, employee, daugther, sister, friend-(in that order) and squezzing in the things I enjoy is often difficult. Usually something falls off the list in order for me to draw or crochet etc. which results in its own issues.

July 1, 2010 at 4:23 AM  

The question to be answered is what you want to be, what you want to achieve..many things will fall in place once the thought is in that direction..Woman can achieve wonders, once the support system is in place..
God Bless
TC
CU

July 1, 2010 at 6:11 AM  

First of all, lovely pic. Before I go on to answer your question, a few things.. I think it is a thankless job to be a SAHM. Most people hardly consider staying at home and raising kids a "job." I don't know about yours, but my husband surely did ask me "What do you do all the time at home?" :) I remember even writing a blog post about this one :). So the luxuries of not battling stringent deadlines or rush hour traffic are almost negated by these. And, as you rightly said, this monster which claws at you for not going out there and making a career for yourself. It has happened to you, me and so many other women you and I know.

My viewpoint is alter your perception of success to include the raising of your kids in it too. Also, initially when your kids are young, trying working at part-time jobs or work from home jobs. But, keep doing some work. When the kids are older, you could increase your workload and take off.

The success you achieve will never be equal to what you would have had you not taken a break from work. But, at least the "me" part will remain alive. And, who knows you could chance upon doing exciting things just like I have. So, all the best to you :)

July 1, 2010 at 10:03 AM  

@vickylow

Well, this is the dilemma as of now... I still have to figure out what makes me happy in terms of creativity.

@Sammia

As rachna said, being a SAHM is really a thankless job. It is satisfying for your maternal instincts but when it comes to satisfying your own self.... I am not necessarily talking about having a job. Job is just one medium that allows you to be recognized as 'you. Like you said, you like to draw and crochet... there needs to be something that feeds the creativity and lets you to do something for yourself.

@ Compassion Unlimited

You put it very rightly, the dawning of what you want to be will make things lot easier. But it requires lot of introspection.

@Rachna

Thanks for this lovely piece of advice... The effort is always on to keep alive that "me" part. The thing that is bothersome now is to figure out how to vent out the creativity. I feel torn between the motherly part that wants to be beside my kid helping him out whenever he needs me and the self that wants to go ahead and make a mark.

July 1, 2010 at 10:49 AM  

Hi Jaanvi!

I think u are doing great as a SAHM and I agree with all ur perks as well hehe.... ;)

Tnx for dropping by my blog on MummyJays Fashionista! Yes I can make arrangements to deliver to India :)

Add me on Facebook/msn: k305@yahoo.com! Or drop me an email, cheers!

July 1, 2010 at 1:56 PM  

Such times probably help in the making of a sense to our soul. A sign that you are back is a good thing to start off, for now. Kudos !

July 6, 2010 at 6:37 AM  

@Uncle Lee

Thanks for the compliment Uncle Lee but the credit actually goes to my hubby for making me look that good in this pic..

Yes, the sun will come out and life will go on but there are some moments when you have to stop and catch a breath and decide where to go. Probably this is the time for me.

July 6, 2010 at 11:15 AM  

Yeah you are right to find something in keeping you concentrate to balance your lifestyle. No doubt, family is of priority but I'm sure there may one or two you may find interested.

Thank you Jaanvi for dropping-by my blog. Have a great day:-)

July 7, 2010 at 5:04 AM  

Sometimes it is harder when you are working and still have to be a mum and wife. Reason coz your emphasis is on being a good mum and wife rather than a worker.

And then when compared to all other working ppl who are travelling and spending money on other things, it feels worse that you can't really do all those things.

And then you will find your identity is in your greatest calling...to be a great mum and great wife.

But then....that's just me.

July 8, 2010 at 11:27 AM  

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