Monday, August 11, 2008
Out of Control
| I have been lately seeing many toddlers who throw tantrums endlessly. Recently I met a friend of mine who has a 3 year old daughter.They came by to visit my place and her kid literally ransacked my house. She was not at all listening to my friend and was picking things from here and there and swirling them around so badly that I was about to have a panic attack. She was all time trying to have her way. My friend followed an escape route by saying "yeh to sirf apne daddy ki sunti hai" translation "she only listens to her daddy". I really did not liked her approach of surrendering herself and that too by mentioning this in front of the child to make the kid even more aware of helplessness. From that day onwards,i was so scared and thinking what makes children like this and how can I take care and not turn my child into a prankster. I mean being naughty is okay but there is a very thin line between naughtiness and hooliganism and I don't want my kid to cross that line. The more i thought about it,the more I realised that it was apart from naughtiness,a typical attention seeking behavior that you normally find in kids. Tricks according to me that can come handy:
The question still looming in my mind, "How will I tackle my child if he tends to cross that thin line"?? Labels: behaviour, child phsychology, habits, tantrums, toddlers |
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Born Happy
| Like all parents,I too love my baby unconditionally. But I can't help wondering whether my child is really happy. As a matter of fact,Are children born happy? If you believe most of the parents,they will say a big YES. Then how come an angry father has an angry son,they would say! Genes for sure but no you are mistaken.Happiness or anger is a mood and not a gene that will be there when a child is born.The son grows up to be angry because he saw his father behaving in the same manner and getting away with this. And also the way he was handled in his toddler years for his wrong behaviours.One child may be laughing on falling from a tree and another one may be sobbing endlessly if his softy melts away.That's the temperament of the child. But ofcourse,his temperament will determine that how you should nurture him so that he grows into a happy child.Every child is actually a cocktail of nature and nurture. The more you understand his nature,more will be the ideas you will come up with to deal with him. A snobby little baby does not necessarily turns out to be a irritated teenager because the kind of treatment he gets as a baby will make the foundation for his later years. If you come across a snobbish baby,try treating him with love and make him understand what you are saying and why you are saying.The children these days do not just shut their eyes and follow you for the sake of being a father or a mother. They demand for a reason and you should not turn them away by just passing a verdict and not explaining.If you follow the approach of being a dictator,you have the ability to convert even the happiest of the child into rebellious adult. It is very easy to know if your baby is happy or not when he is a tiny soul,who just babbles things and just about get on his feet because a radiant smile tells all. But as the child grows up,it becomes more and more difficult to know what's on their mind.As the child grows,he becomes more and more in control of his emotions and you will find it hard to predict his behaviour. From then on,you have to actually know him more deeply by talking to him,by understanding that why is he doing something. Every child has his own way of telling you that he is not happy. Some do not talk,some do not play,some start clinging to you and some may become distant. You are the best judge in such a situation to know his behaviour and comfort him. A shy child can also seem to be a little distant. Do not confuse shyness with being sad.Go ahead,listen to what your child is saying even when he is not speaking. Read his manners,notice his behaviors,notice the changes and soon you will be the one having the complete control. Good luck with raising a happy adult. Labels: behaviour, tantrums, temperament |