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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
How to make the baby sleep longer
As I heard from many moms,read it on blogs and experience myself, the major concern that largely looms on mother's mind is how to make the baby sleep longer in the day as well as in the night.Here are some of the ways I experimented with and got lucky. Before furthering our discussion first of all remember that this is surely possible and be ready to make the change.

Making baby sleep longer in the day:

You need to do it because that's the only time which you get for yourself and completing all the household chores.
Pointing out some ways to achieve this:
  • Create an ambiance. Pull down the curtains,lower down any music or tv if watching. Basically you are preparing the child for the sleep.He will soon start recognizing these signals.
  • Babies after taking shower feel hungry and sleepy. Use this time to induce a good sleep and its sure shot that the baby will sleep not less than 2 hours at all and sometimes even more.Make this time as peaceful as possible.
  • Some experts also say that if baby takes ,say,3 naps a day, reduce them to 2 and he will sleep longer.
Tip: If the child wakes up cranky,crying, you can put him back to sleep easily with little caressing(chances are that he woke up because of some disturbance).

Making baby sleep longer in the night:

Obviously you would want your baby to sleep through the night without interruptions so that you can have a good sleep. It is said that after 6 months of age the baby is capable to make through the night without feeds but I still see mothers of toddlers cribbing about sleepless night.
Listing down some tried and tested ways which worked for my baby who is 8 months of age and makes through the night:
  • As the experts say,form a bed time routine. Make sure you follow it every night and try stick to it. Remember the routine should not be too long because if it is,it will be tiring for you and will also divert the bay's attention from sleeping to other things.
  • Make the baby eat something good(in other words a little heavy) an hour before giving him night feed.
  • I have seen that more the babies are happy and peaceful during the day,the better they sleep during the night.If a child is crying or unhappy during the daytime,most likely he will wake up again and again in the night.
  • He may wake up at night to pee,take him to pee and put him back to sleep,he will sleep without making any fuss.
  • If the baby is breastfed,he may cry for milk just to fall back to sleep but you have to be strong enough to set a pattern.Don't give milk unless until you are sure that he is hungry.
  • Be flexible. Its not always possible that babies will follow your guidelines,he may be having some problem to go back to sleep which sometimes happens with us adults as well. Bear with it.
Tip: Pat the child on his back if he is disturbed in his sleep and if possible stay near him until he goes back to sleep if he gets up(he will sleep with a sense of security and less likely to wake up).

Inducing new sleep patterns or routines will be difficult for your child and for you as well so be patient. Keep your ears ready and heart strong to hear out his cries.Soon he will fall into this pattern.
Bravo,you have taken a step towards introducing good sleeping habits in your child.

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Saturday, June 21, 2008
Dealing with a child
How to deal with a child?
Its a very sensitive subject and most of us forget to play by the rules of the game.We always want our children to be sensible and not rebels. Supportive environment starts from day one and encouragement never fails.

There are some simple ways that will take a child parent relationship way ahead of any other bonds:
  • Always remember that your children are precious. Think twice before loosing your cool.
  • Set clear rules but never hesitate to lend a helping hand.Being a parent,you are the one the child will always want to depend on. Provide them that boost.
  • Do not criticize the child in front of others.It may just be an expression for you,for him its a matter of embarrassment.
  • Listen to what your child has to say seriously. Give your opinion and also the reason for your opinion.
  • Never be a dictator. With this policy you may rule the world but will never be able to win ur child's heart.
  • Mind your behavior. Children pick things from what's happening around,if you are yelling,hitting,it gives the children also a chance to do the same.
  • Always tell them the importance of family and the fact that they are answerable to the family for their actions.
Always remember that they are your responsibility till the time they chose to tread different paths of life. Nurture,nourish and be there,but never chose to give up.

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Friday, June 20, 2008
Tip of the Day
Give your children all the attention they need at early age and they will grow into responsible adults.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Parents as role models
I saw a happy meal virtually turning into sad as I read through recent post of my fellow blogger Jeff Iversen, I realized how fast food is getting under the skin of children today.They pick these habits either from their parents or from their peers. If this has come from their peers,you can still tackle this problem as a parent but what would you do when you yourself is a slave to junk food and see your child inflating like a balloon with those empty calories he is putting on.

Do today's parents really make as good role models? Do children really feel like following their parents? We often crib that children do not listen,they argue. The answer lies in your hearts. If you peep a little deeper,you yourself will realize what kind of example you are setting for your children.This does not stop at the kind of food you eat but what you talk,what you feel,what you portray,all in all what you are. How proud do we feel when we see our children as reflection of ourselves."He looks like me",the comment itself fills a parent's heart with pride but if he is picking up all my wrong habits,I would rather say,its good he is not like me.

To bring your child in control,first you need to be in control.You need to curb all those habits which you will never want your child to have may it be futile anger,a sky rocketing ego or being an emotional fool. Stop your child from doing wrong but do not give him an opportunity to pin point yours. Lead by example.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Biggest mistake
How often did you find your mom comparing you to others? I would say most of the times. Usually parents compare their kids with the other kids of their age to create a hypothetical benchmark. Oh! See he is growing taller,you are not.He studies 8 hours a day but you don't. He plays tennis and wins,don't you feel like doing something good with yourself. Most of us grew up hearing these remarks and believe me I hated these comments beyond imagination.This comparison does not start when the kid starts going to school,it starts way before that,I think from the day the baby is born. May it be regarding baby's weight,his crawling,the day when his first tooth comes out,mothers compare each and every thing.And when they do this,they forget one simple thing,Individuality,of their child.

Every child is unique in his own way and has individual traits.That's what sets him apart from the rest of the world. And so his growth patterns,his interests,his views and the way he handles the situations.What you need to understand is how to respect his individuality and not to make the biggest mistake of comparison. When you compare a child to others,and sometimes even in siblings(that's the worst), you end up doing nothing but hurting yourself and more than anything you are hurting your child's psyche,stirring him emotionally and making him distant.

I very well understand that comparison is inevitable but when does a sweet little comparison turn into a nerve wrecking monster,you won't even notice,but your child will. He will always feel himself buried under a great deal of pressure,pressure to prove himself to his family, which he always thought, will stood by him through thick and thin.He will start looking for attention from other people rather than you.He will start finding solace in other things rather than your embraces or heart to heart talks. And if the child is emotionally weak,this constant banging may turn him completely against you and he will be a rebel.
One question that comes in mind,why parents do it?

Reasons could be many : status,standing in society,just to push the child and sometimes due to mere frustration.Its not necessary that if X's child is topping the class,Y surely has to do it. Y may not be academically so brilliant but he could have those creative skills that people always yearn for but never get it. So what should you do? As I said in my previous posts as well,read their psyche and this starts right from the beginning. Have confidence in them.Let them be themselves.Groom them in their specialised areas. Show them the right way but don't push them to follow someone's footsteps. Have a friendly and an open approach so that a child can always come to you,discuss his fears,his life. And if you have to give an example,tell him to be role model for himelf.
As i read in one of Shahrukh Khan's interviews,that he tells his children "Loosing is not an option" and this he does not say with any vengeance or anger.What I make out of it is that when you loose,try even more harder and don't let loosing be an option for you.And this is what I ll try and teach my child too.

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Thursday, June 5, 2008
Born Happy
Like all parents,I too love my baby unconditionally. But I can't help wondering whether my child is really happy. As a matter of fact,Are children born happy? If you believe most of the parents,they will say a big YES. Then how come an angry father has an angry son,they would say! Genes for sure but no you are mistaken.Happiness or anger is a mood and not a gene that will be there when a child is born.The son grows up to be angry because he saw his father behaving in the same manner and getting away with this. And also the way he was handled in his toddler years for his wrong behaviours.One child may be laughing on falling from a tree and another one may be sobbing endlessly if his softy melts away.That's the temperament of the child. But ofcourse,his temperament will determine that how you should nurture him so that he grows into a happy child.Every child is actually a cocktail of nature and nurture. The more you understand his nature,more will be the ideas you will come up with to deal with him. A snobby little baby does not necessarily turns out to be a irritated teenager because the kind of treatment he gets as a baby will make the foundation for his later years.
If you come across a snobbish baby,try treating him with love and make him understand what you are saying and why you are saying.The children these days do not just shut their eyes and follow you for the sake of being a father or a mother. They demand for a reason and you should not turn them away by just passing a verdict and not explaining.If you follow the approach of being a dictator,you have the ability to convert even the happiest of the child into rebellious adult. It is very easy to know if your baby is happy or not when he is a tiny soul,who just babbles things and just about get on his feet because a radiant smile tells all. But as the child grows up,it becomes more and more difficult to know what's on their mind.As the child grows,he becomes more and more in control of his emotions and you will find it hard to predict his behaviour. From then on,you have to actually know him more deeply by talking to him,by understanding that why is he doing something. Every child has his own way of telling you that he is not happy. Some do not talk,some do not play,some start clinging to you and some may become distant. You are the best judge in such a situation to know his behaviour and comfort him.
A shy child can also seem to be a little distant. Do not confuse shyness with being sad.Go ahead,listen to what your child is saying even when he is not speaking. Read his manners,notice his behaviors,notice the changes and soon you will be the one having the complete control.
Good luck with raising a happy adult.

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